My first blog post. Hmmm. Where to start.
I've been thinking about writing a blog for a while. I used to journal a lot, and I find I am doing it less lately. I'm not sure why. I want to blog in hopes that there might be a little more accountability from this online community than there is from a paper notebook that doesn't talk back and never gets read by anyone except me.
Last New Years Day, my sister Janelle, brother-in-law Eric, my niece Natalie and myself walked down to the neighbourhood Starbucks (a guilty pleasure for me). Along the way, we discussed New Years Resolutions. I have no idea if they had made any or not, and honestly I hadn't given it much thought either. However, when Eric asked me directly, I answered that I was resolving to 'think deeper thoughts'.
This might sound funny to some, but to me it was about being more aware of the thoughts or assumptions that are going on in my head, and questioning them. It was about being aware of many of the things going on in the larger world, far outside the limits of the one in which I live, here in Strathmore. I was not out to solve the worlds problems, although that would be pretty cool if it happened. Mostly it was about living less superficially; it was about not always getting caught up in the surface realities of life - the to do list for the day, the immediate needs and concerns. Rather I was trying to get past the visible life I live out loud in front of people, and access the unarticulated thoughts and questions raised by my life and the relationships I was in.
Although I have thought about this resolution here and there throughout the year, it has never been with the intentionality I had intended. I wanted to see some of my habits change. I wanted to live in a new awareness, a deeper place, and it hasn't happened.
Perhaps it's just not me. Perhaps I just didn't try hard enough. I don't know yet. That's what this blog is about. I'm going to try again. And this time I'll have you for company, and a little accountability.
So, here's my thought for today: I was asked to reflect on the following statement by David Benner, in his book The Gift of Being Yourself. "We do not find our true self by seeking it. Rather, we find it by seeking God." My response was this:
It is only through the eyes of God - only by knowing God, that I may truly see the person I was created to be. For who knows me better than my creator? And through whose eyes can I more clearly see myself, than through those of that creator. Through what other eyes am I untainted by the influences of the world, be that the society I live in, my friends, or family, as well-intentioned as they may be. The person I was created to be can only be confirmed by these external influences and cannot be given as revelations for me to accept as truth before learning this from the face of God, through my own relationship with God and the knowledge of God's character.
I have heard in the last years that 'to know yourself is to know God'. It sounds a bit 'new agey', doesn't it? However, I have come to whole-heartedly agree with this statement. I think my response to the statement above explains it, or at least it makes sense to me. Hopefully it does for you too.
Let the conversation begin...
First good for you for doing this. I know what you mean when it comes to writing in my journal, I did it a fair amount but then I got busy with Simon and life.
ReplyDeleteI like the statement "to know yourself is to know God". I have often wondered if we can really know ourselves though. There are times when I think I know myself but then I will do something or think something and I'll be like that could not have been me that did that. I also think it is a good thing that we have to keep living to fully know ourselves, we never stop learning about us or about God
Leanne
First, I am really glad you started this blog, you are a great writer! Hopefully, it will give me a chance to dialogue with you about your thoughts and ideas on a more regular basis (at least until you move to Hamilton, which I'm sure will be in the near future).
ReplyDeleteI agree with Leanne - I am not sure we ever know ourselves entirely. What we know is never more than a small clearing in a vast forest - that said, I don't think this means we should stop trying to better understand ourselves. It just means that the uncovering will never be completed (a challenge and an inspiration:).
I also wonder if we can ever escape the influences of our family/culture/society. I think these factors are so intimately tied in with our view of ourselves and the world that they always taint our perceptions in some way.
Leanne - I totally agree with you about never knowing ourselves. I think like Eric says - we have small clearings in a vast forest. Additionally, as we mature and grow, we change. I think as long as we are growing we are being reinvented with new versions of ourselves resulting from the life experience we collect over the years. However, in the same way, we can never come to a full understanding of God, and the character of God. We catch glimpses, and begin to understand certain aspects, but we will never grasp the entirety of who God is.
ReplyDeleteEric, we are products of our society/family/culture, and we will always be tainted by these factors, however, I think we can 'throw off' some of these influences. For example, our culture tells us that our value is based on our productivity, our appearance, our social status and how much money we make. God tells us that our value comes simply from being created in God's image. And so while culture tells me to do this, be that, have this, I have thrown that off in favor of being the self God created.
That being said, I think that the inescapable are the less glaring aspects of our family or culture; The aspects of ourselves that we aren't even conscious of.
Corinne, I'm so excited you've started a blog, really like the name. I'm going to join you in thinking deeper thoughts and "trying to get past the visible life I live out loud in front of people, and access the unarticulated thoughts and questions raised by my life and the relationships I was in." Love it! Thank you for sharing and I'm so glad I'm getting to know you better through Vantage Point, we have an amazing group of women and I'm so thankful I get to be a part of it. Happy New Year!
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