Too long...

Wow.  I did not realize it's been almost a month.  I feel like that's some horrible sin in blog-world.  I vowed to never let that much time pass in between posts.  And here we have it - I'm still human!


On the 16th of February, I turned 30 (in case anyone in the world missed it - I certainly felt like the whole world knew - and congratulated me!)  What a great day!  I am definitely one of those people who still gets very excited about birthdays.  Mostly this means my own, but I am definitely very understanding and supportive when others are excited for their birthdays as well.

It's kind of funny.  Wednesdays (my birthday fell on one), I usually work all day at my job in Calgary, and don't go into my office at the church at all.  But this day, I had taken the morning off to get some urgent stuff done at the church.  I arrived to see this:  

Happy Birthday Corinne

I opened the door to find my office had been extensively decorated, with great attention to detail taken.  Turns out, several of the wonderful teenagers in our youth group had arranged with a parent with a key to sneak in to my office, and 'make a big deal', just like I told them I liked.  

It's a big deal.

I wasn't asking for it - I just had mentioned that birthdays were still a big deal to me, and I still like celebrating them.


Almost a month later, the post it notes saying happy birthday in a dozen different languages, and other miscellaneous statements ('You are so beautiful to me', Happy 40th, we love you, etc.) remain.  

Mostly because I've been so super busy and haven't had time to take them down, but also because I love them, and every day I open the door to my office, and know again that I am loved and appreciated.  Probably the most touching gift they left me was a plastic recorder.  It showed that they know me, and remember the things I talk about, and pay attention.  You see, when I was growing up, I played the recorder.  Like, for real.  Won competitions and was awarded scholarships.  I know, I know, I don't really spread that one around, but it's true.  You can ask my parents.  Kind of embarrassing.  

So I've been thinking about what it means to be known.  I'm  not going to write about it, because I think it's going to be my next sermon, and I don't want to ruin it, but there is something about being known.  It was a big deal to me.


Anyway, my 30th birthday was my best one yet!  I also spent a great afternoon at my job in the city celebrating with my co-workers there, and then was spoiled with flowers and a beautiful card from my small group ladies, and a party with close friends later on the weekend.  Oh yeah, and literally, about 100 people wished me happy birthday on facebook.  Not to brag, but that's a lot of people.  I felt very loved, celebrated and special, which was what made it the best birthday yet.  So a belated thanks to everybody out there who helped make that day so wonderful.  And I'm starting to get teased at the church because the decorations are still up.  They think I'm still relishing it.  I've just been busy, okay?  And I might be relishing just a little...

'Thanks for being an awesome youth pastor' and 'Finally 40'

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow I turn 30.  3. 0.  Weird.  


I've been doing a lot of reflecting lately, partly because I've had a pretty crazy year (when I take a moment to stop and look back on it), and partly because last week I had to tell 'my story' to my Vantage Point group.  (My mom asked me which story that was.  It's the whole story, as in the story about my life, and where God's been at work throughout my life.)  It's actually been pretty fun to look back, and it's also neat that it almost perfectly coincides with this momentous occasion.  What I've realized the most is that God has been at work in my life, for all of my life.  Isn't it funny that we don't see that when we go through stuff, but later when we stop to reflect, it's often so obvious?  That whole saying about hindsight being 20/20 is pretty true.


So as much as it's been cool to see and acknowledge God's presence and hand at work in my life the past 30 years, it also challenges me to be more aware of God's presence and hand at work right now.  It's happening.  History tells me that it can't not be happening.  But where?  What am I learning, how am I growing, that I don't even know right now?  It also makes me excited for a year from now when again, I'll be looking back and seeing God's hand in everything - my situations, relationships, decisions that I'm living in today.  


I also find it so comforting that this is truth.  That even though I can't see it always, God is doing stuff in my life, in the lives of the people around me, and in the world in general.  It's comforting that I'm never actually 'on my own', to make my own way in the world, but that God is always at work, leading, guiding, preparing.


And the same goes for you.  Be encouraged by that.  God is doing great things in you.  Take a moment to think about the journey you have been and are on.

Still and again...

I read this quote this morning on another blog.  

“To live content with small means; to seek elegance rather than luxury, and refinement rather than fashion; to be worthy, not respectable, and wealthy, not, rich; to listen to stars and birds, babes and sages, with open heart; to study hard; to think quietly, act frankly, talk gently, await occasions, hurry never; in a word, to let the spiritual, unbidden and unconscious, grow up through the common. this is my symphony."    ~w.e. channing

It struck me again, as the way that I want to be living, and that I am very much not living this way currently.  My life has been a constant barrage of the urgent and busy for the last 4 weeks.  I have eaten only 4 suppers in my own house - no lunches and few breakfasts.  Until lastnight I hadn't folded laundry in over a month, and I had 4 almost empty containers of sour milk in my fridge.  I have been far too busy, and right now I can only dream about listening to stars and birds, and thinking quietly.

And yet I realize that I am the only one who can make this change.  I keep thinking that my situation will change, and this busyness will just end, and I will be able to enjoy this quiet symphony, but the more I think about my life and how I live, I realize that it is up to me to make this happen, regardless of the busyness, and the tyranny of the urgent that I experience.  

So what to do with that?  How does one squeeze more hours into the day than there actually are?  Or does this all mean that I have to let go of something, and gain this quiet symphony?  I know one of my habits is to try to do everything - I love being with friends, and never want to miss an opportunity to be with the people I love, but sometimes is it best to sacrifice something to gain something else?  I think it must be.  

So sorry friends, I may not be at Bible Study this week again.  But I will probably be at home, quiet, doing something I just need to do for myself.  Maybe reading.  Maybe making cards.  Maybe baking.  And I will be meeting God in my own version of Bible study.  Please pray for me.  

Quoting...

I read this today over here.  


“More and more, the desire grows in me simply to walk around, greet people, enter their homes, sit on their doorsteps, play ball, throw water, and be known as someone who wants to live with them. It is a privilege to have the time to practice this simple ministry of presence. Still, it is not as simple as it seems. My own desire to be useful, to do something significant, or to be part of some impressive project is so strong that soon my time is taken up by meetings, conferences, study groups, and workshops that prevent me from walking the streets. It is difficult not to have plans, not to organize people around an urgent cause, and not to feel that you are working directly for social progress. But I wonder more and more if the first thing shouldn’t be to know people by name, to eat and drink with them, to listen to their stories and tell your own, and to let them know with words, handshakes, and hugs that you do not simply like them, but truly love them.”   ~ Henri Nouwen


Just thought I'd share it with whoever's out there reading (or waiting 3+ weeks to read).  Yes, I know, I've been absent.  I've been busy.  I've been doing the things this quote talks about, and not doing the other things this quote talks about.  Can you figure out what I've been doing and not doing?  I'm doing better this week though - 3 chances already to just hang out, be with, and love people because God made them!  And it's only tuesday.  I may also be needing something to somewhat distract me from a new reality in my life.  But it's all good, and it works out well for everyone involved!  Even better.

God doesn't do mediocrity

Yesterday I started reading 'Crazy Love' by Francis Chan.  I've heard great things about this book, so my expectations were pretty high.  I made it through the first few chapters - it's good stuff.  I was totally tracking with him, and was pretty excited, until I came to chapter four, which is titled 'Profile of the Lukewarm'.  In this chapter, Chan gives a series of 'you might be a lukewarm Christian if...' statements.  I made it through the first few unscathed, but the list seemed to never end, and by the time it did end, I had some thinking to do.  And I have more to do, so we'll save that for another post.

What I wanted to think some more about tonight came from the first chapter of the book.  Before you go any further, click here to watch a short video.

What I got out of this video was that God doesn't do anything halfway.  The vastness of our galaxy and universe, in contrast to God's knowledge of every single person on earth is staggering.  Additionally, the complexity of the system - how creation, in all its different aspects works exhibits God's ingenuity and perfect design.  As I watched the video, I couldn't help but see how God didn't create something 'halfway', or something that 'would work'.  God created an amazing world.  And it didn't end there.

How is it that we so easily fall into the trap of thinking of ourselves of average?  Not great? Mediocre?  When we believe these lies, we not only sell ourselves short of a life that is much bigger, grander, larger than what we could imagine, but we also sell God short.  God didn't create average, not great or mediocre.  God created spectacular.  God created phenomenal.  And each of us, every person who has ever existed and ever will exist is a part of that.  But I think first we have a couple of choices to make.  The first, is that we have to choose to believe the things that God says about us.  And not just believe it like 'oh yeah, it says that in the Bible', but believe it like LIVE IT OUT.  That's the second choice: to live it out.  It means taking risks.  It means doing things that will probably make you really uncomfortable, to prove to yourself and God that the things God says about you are true.  And it's a long road.

Psalm 139:14 says 'Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!  Your workmanship is marvelous - how well I know it'.  Do you know it?  Do you live that out?

God doesn't do mediocre.

I've been on this journey for a while.  I am going to be on this journey for the rest of my life.  I often fall into that trap of thinking that I'm not great, not spectacular.  But other times I believe, and the more times I choose to believe, the less times I fall into that trap.  The less times I fall into that trap, the more I am free to be the very best I can be, which is the me that God created me to be.  It may not look phenomenal or spectacular to anyone else, it may even look like mediocrity to others, but to God, it is perfection.

Two books down

I love to read.  I could do it for days and weeks on end without complaining.  I haven't done it enough lately.

Today I read one complete book (The Purity Code by Jim Burns, which is a book for parents and teens about sexual purity, God's thoughts on the subject, and God's desire for us to live the best life possible.)

Today I also finished another book I've been working on for about a year and a half.  Shameful, I know.  Part of me thinks I should just start over again, because I'm sure it's kind of lost it's effect in the year and a half it's taken me to get through it.  Nevertheless, it is the inspiration for this edition of thought provocation.

The book is 'Jesus for President' by Shane Claiborne and Chris Haw.  First of all, a little background on Shane.  He lives in Philly in an intentional community (read hippies that live together).  He is passionate about God, the poor and marginalized, and politics.  This book is about all of them.  Before continuing, can I just say that I love this man, his passion, and I can only hope to be as inspired, convinced and moved to action as he is.)

A couple of quotes to share:

Talking about 'hell and damnation' sermons that were all too familiar from his childhood 'But have you ever noticed that Jesus didn't spend much time on hell?...We see Jesus spending far more energy loving the hell out of people, and lifting people out of the hells in which they are trapped, than trying to scare them into heaven.'

Shane's mom is quoted as saying 'Perhaps there is no more dangerous place for a Christian to be than in safety and comfort, detached from the suffering of others.' 

'Church father Ignatius said that if our church is not marked by caring for the poor, the oppressed, and the hungry, then we are guilty of heresy - and a new reformation is long overdue.'

In the words of Ghandi 'There is enough for everyone's need but not enough for everyone's greed'.

Okay, just one more thing, I promise.  In response to Ignatius' challenge, Shane's community initiated a 'relational tithe' which is a group of friends around the world taking care of each other and their neighbours.  USING A BLOG (I see potential...)  They respond often to situations of poverty, homelessness and even natural disasters.  Out of this also came a conference, in which people were trained in interdependence and alternative economics.  Rather than support huge corporations, essentially empowering the rich to become more rich, the attendees of the conference brought skills, talents, etc. to barter for further training.  'We'll never forget seeing Shane's uncle, who doesn't have much to do with anything that smells religious, taking some nuns fishing.  It was a great image of the kingdom.' 

I think my world's been turned upside down.  And for good reason.  Now I'm far from a hippie, and I really like having my own space, and my own things, but this is challenging me to rethink this lifestyle I have (and enjoy!)  Also, don't hear me saying that we all need to become Shane Claiborne, live like him, and do all the same things - we are the entire body of Christ after all.  But I am pretty sure that it has implications for me concerning my time, my resources, and my attachment to the things I have.  Are they really mine, or are they resources of the kingdom?  (Don't worry, I know the answer.  Now I just need to live it out a little more.)

So just a warning - expect another book report in place of a blog post tomorrow, as I continue the downward motion through the stack of books I haven't been reading in the last 2 years.  Or more.

Looking forward

Things I am looking forward to in 2011:

becoming an auntie again - to a nephew this time
a ski trip with our Sr. High students next weekend
at least 2 trips to Ontario (April & May)
summer (cause that last one didn't count)
change
challenge
growth
new opportunities ???
the unknown

Okay, so a few of those I might not really be looking forward to, but in light of yesterdays post I feel obligated to add them.  I know that in a year I'll look back again and be glad I went through whatever I went through.